True Tales of Craps and Blackjack

Hi Vegas fans,

A question on my forums yesterday made me start thinking about the funniest and weirdest things that I have seen at the tables over the years. Most of the time it's just a few folks joking around, having a good time, trying not to lose money. But here are some of the highlights of my gambling history, in no particular order:

First time playing craps - Caesars Palace, 1992. Back then, you could get a spot at a $2 craps table with no problem. Heck, back then Caesars had a ton of tables and the casino was always hopping. Anyway... I'm at a lively table with my faithful compadre Steve, and the shooters are really hot. Two gents at the opposite end of the table are experienced craps players and are making a lot of money.

The dice come to me. I roll a number and then crap out after a few rolls. Just enough so that players lose their pass line bets and come bets. Oops. The dice go to the next player, and the game gets hot again. Finally they come back to me. I roll a number and then... you guessed it, crap out after a few more rolls. One of the fellows at the other end of the table looks at me and says, "have you thought about not rolling the dice?" Sound advice. I didn't tell them that my middle name is Seven

Blackjack - Caesars palace, also 1992. Steve is at a table with a really, really intoxicated fellow (not me... not this time), who is complaining to Steve about the dealers, pit boss and so on. Finally, it comes time for him to cut the cards. The gent takes the yellow card and, instead of sliding it between the decks of cards like a normal, sober person, attempts to literally cut the cards by slicing at them. Doesn't work that way. Stay sober, my friend.

Blackjack - Stratosphere, 2009. Two very Australian dudes playing at a table with me and Steve, slowly getting tight. Good fellas, for the most part, although they were annoying the dealer and were one smart-ass comment away from getting into some trouble. A cigar girl came by, and one of the gents decides to buy one. He lights up just as the pit boss walks up to the table, just by chance, to check things out. Pit boss smiles for a few seconds, trying not to laugh. The Aussie is about to puff when the pit boss says, "You know you lit the wrong end, don't you?" Good stuff.

Blackjack - Stratosphere, 2009. Steve and I are at a fairly full table with a bunch of good folks. One guy in particular is nice enough but making really wacky bets. Of course, he's losing and blaming the cards. So his frustration builds and at one point he decides to double-down on a hard sixteen versus a dealer ten. Now, if you don't know anything about blackjack, all I can say is this is about the worst play you can make. His odds of winning the hand have to be in the gazillions. His odds of not busting with a hard sixteen are pretty slim as it is. So, what does he get for his card? Of course, a 5! He wins the hand. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Blackjack and Craps, Bill's Gamblin' Hall, 2010. My 40th birthday Vegas all-out, good-time bash. Steve and I had just arrived in Vegas and had bet on some NCAA basketball games. We already had a drinking contest in the sports book (I lost... but just barely), and while we waited to eventually lose our bets on hoops, we decided to play some craps. Now at the tables I like to drink rum and cokes. You know, to look sophisticated while I root for my point ("Come on sixthhhh.... daddy needth a new pair of shoethhh!").

We had a full table and it was rocking. One shooter in particular had a pretty good run. The drunk dude to the left of me (not Steve... he was the drunk dude on my right) was really, really funny. Well, at the time we both thought we were going to headline at Caesars. So the point was nine, and we were alternating cheers for the shooter. He'd yell "sixty-three" and then I'd chant "fifty-four." Then the whole table got into it. It was like we were at a college football game. "Sixty-three..." "fifty-four..." "sixty-three..." "fifty-four!" The shooter eventually hit the nine and we picked up our winnings.

Then, Steve and I decided to head to the blackjack table. For some reason, we thought 6-5 single deck was a good idea. Not my favorite game, but the evil Caesars property didn't leave us much choice for blackjack. I recall very little, other than every time I went to double-down, the dealer chastised me for reaching over my chips to put my cards under them. Or something like that. I remember thinking that I was one of those guys I didn't like much at the table, a little sloppy and holding up progress. Oh well, it was my birfday after all, and how many times do you turn 40? By the end of the night, I had to call my wife to remind me which room we were in. The next day was brutal.

Well, those are some of my highlights. What are yours???

Viva,

Mike